The Deer in the Woods Who Taught Me Mind Control

I met a deer in a forest that taught me mind control.


I’m sure you are thinking, this man must be crazy. You wouldn’t be the first, because I am. I knew I was crazy far before anyone else picked up on it. But when I say I’m crazy, it’s really just my way of explaining me to regular people. That’s why I believe The Deer chose me. It makes little sense until you understand it. So I’ll tell you and try to make you understand it.

I’m sure The Deer was some kind of God, perhaps God itself. Maybe it was even a form of a magical person. But it appeared to me as a deer and referred to itself as The Deer. I first encountered it in, surprise, a damn forest.

I lost my wife and daughter many years ago, to a sickness that swept the city we lived in. I couldn’t take people’s constant influx of sentiment and had to retreat to recover from the sadness. I left on a long journey to live away in solitude to recover my mind and spirit. I built a small cabin in the forest, far from the city, far from anything.

That is when The Deer came to me one night, while I was hunting…



…I started shooting at it, because I was hunting.


“Your bullets will have no effect on me.” says The Deer.

“What the fuck? Talking deer?” says me.

“The first and last talking fucking deer you will ever meet, so if you want to learn Mind Control, put your weapon down and listen to me.” says The Deer.

“What?” says me.

“Say what again and I’ll run off into the forest and you will never see me again.” says The Deer.

“Um.” says me.

“Ask me my name.” says The Deer.

“Whats your name?” I asked.

“The Deer.” says The Deer.

“This shit is stupid as hell. What are you a robot? And is this a prank?” I said and asked.

“I’m a magical being that can take forms. Now listen up, your life is a shitty little pile of shit skittles but you share the same bloodline as some of the most powerful mages that have ever lived. And I’ve been sent forward into time to teach you critical powers, first being, Mind Control.” says The Deer.

“This is so ridiculously unbelievable that I actually believe you Deer. Because who the fuck could make that shit up?” I said.

“That’s one way of looking at it. Now, come here and ride on my back, we’ll walk and I’ll talk.” says The Deer.

I made my way over to The Deer and it started glowing green with a blue green aura surrounding it. I climbed on top of it and it began floating forward into the forest, a few feet off the ground with it’s feet stationary.

“You said we were going to walk.” I said.

“Mind Control is real, all humans have it, magical or not, but few use it.” said The Deer as it ignored my question.

“Oh yeah of course, I already knew all that.” I said.

“Sarcasm not needed. Now, 99% of humans are reactive. They get hungry, then they eat. A deadline approaches, then they work. Someone treats them badly, they get upset.” said The Deer.

“Yup.” I said, just nodding along, letting this crazy ass dream take me where it wanted.

“Think of how if you enter a room and greet people with a smiling face, they smile back. But if you enter the room sad and depressed, they will not smile at you, they will feed off your sadness. Maybe try to make you feel better, or just avoid you.” says The Deer.

“Right.” says me.

“Like I said, people are reactive. They flow through life reacting to their environment, never trying to take a hold of it. Or rather, of each other. We are taught that controlling others is a bad thing, but ironically, we are taught that by the very people who control us. It’s so we won’t want to fight back. But the fact is, people are very programmable and predictable. There are methods of controlling people that work nearly 100% of the time. You can literally Mind Control someone if you know the secrets.” says The Deer.

“Damn Mister Deer, you’re a fucking sociopathic furry fucking thing huh?” I said.

“What’s more sociopathic, controlling others in a way that still affords them free will, or being a sheep and willfully ignorant to Mind Control powers that are used on you on a daily basis?” asked The Deer.

“Well, when you put it like that.” I said.

“Learning how your Mind is being controlled will give you freedom. Even if you don’t want to use your powers, you will be more free. So listen more as I teach. Now, you still have training wheels on, so we have to start small and at the beginning to give you a proper foundation.

The first thing you need to do is realize that your actions and thoughts directly influence the people around you.” said The Deer.

“Yeah but I live out here in the woods, not around people.” I said.

“Um yeah, but you’re eventually going to go back right?” asked The Deer.

“Yeah, true.” I said.

“Alright then, then shut up and listen. So your actions influence people around you. 99% of people do not reflect on how their actions effect those around them. If they do, it’s often strictly personally based, such as whether something they did will effect whether Sally still likes them or not” says The Deer.

“Um yeah? You just described socialization. What’s your point?” I asked.

“The thing is, is that most people just sort of accept what goes on around them, especially socially. They think about how they are perceived by the people they are around, rather than thinking about how they can control the people around them. Which is normal because 99% of people simply have no experience or don’t realize that the people around them can be controlled.”says The Deer.

“Deer man you sound nuts. Can’t you see that I’m out here living in a forest? Even if you can teach me these things, can’t you see that I kinda like being away from people?” I said.

“Abandoning the world is just a evil as trying to take it over. For while you do nothing, bad entities do bad. You are apart of this world and so you are responsible for it, like we all are. Dark times aren’t even approaching, they are already here, and they will get darker. And if you don’t think they can reach you in your solitude, you are wrong.” said The Deer.

“An age old but fair point. So what’s the first lesson?” I asked.

“The first lesson of Mind Control, is understanding that everyone is crazy. No one is completely grounded in reality. There is always some fiction to all people’s reality. It is in this fact of fiction, that the opening for Mind Control exists. Everyone thinks they are smarter than they are, better looking than they are, nicer than they are, and so on and so on.

In addition, our expectations never match reality. How often do you get the expectation correct? Not without great practice. Like when you order a new dish for the first time, how often does it look, feel, taste, and smell exactly how you imagined it from the description? Never. Only after ordering it many times do you know exactly what to expect. The fact of failure in expectation is where the next opening for Mind Control exists.

For we are all crazy and terrible at new situations. Our understanding of absolute reality, is minimal at best, and in that fog of weak understanding, we can control people by laying traps.

For you see, humans evolved the subconscious to deal with this problem of understanding reality. Understanding reality takes a great measure of time and thought, and it can lead to depression and distraction.

It is far better for us to have this processing of reality done automatically in our subconscious while we worry about survival and reproducing and exploration.” said The Deer.

“This is some deep shit Mister Deer.” I said.

“Yes, shall we continue floating? Are you now interested? I have all the time in the world to teach you, as do you.” said The Deer.

“Um well maybe you’re some kind of God that can live forever, but I’m not so…” I said.

“I have stopped time in this forest, it is a power I have. You will not age, you will not feel hunger, we can spend as much time as you need. But please, use this time seriously, for once I unstop time, I will cease to exist and die.” said The Deer.

“Seriously? All this for me?” I said.

“You have no idea how important you are.” said The Deer.


And that’s how our conversation basically started.

Did he teach me Mind Control?

Of course, how do you think you found this piece of writing? Through chance? You really think you decided to read this right now, entirely on your own free will?

I brought you here, for The Deer taught me many things. And time is of the essence. I do in fact, need your help.

So stay tuned, it will all make sense not soon, but at the perfect time, trust me.